Sunday, November 7, 2010

Dreamy Me.

Ever feel you miss someone who's a thousand miles away from you, but in the same time you actualy ENVY and HATE that person because that particular person is living their life to fullest? While you haven't live the life you wanted?

Oh god, this is what's happening to me right now. Just got on Skype with him. OMG.

I can see that my brothers are actually living their dreams. Living alone, gaining knowledge from the outer world, making new friends from around the world. Oh god. I can't wait to actually living MY dreams. Only a year to go for my Diploma, then I'm going off to (perhaps) Singapore to finish my Bachelor degree. Yes, I can't wait. I can't FREAKIN wait.

It's my second time crying, yes I am a crybaby, this week - reflecting on my OWN life. It's difficult for me, being the last child, the last daughter, and the (almost) last granddaughter, to actually GO AWAY from the family. I don't know why, perhaps it's the "tradition" of a Javanese family? Or.. is it just my family?

He said "Kez, go for it!" And yes, I will go for it. Please help me. In your prayers. To achieve my dream, and that is: the Middle East.

Nighty night.